Always be my baby
by Trix a.k.a F5C
Summary: A ruhanaru ficcy... hanamichi's feelings when rukawa goes to states to pursue his dream


Title: Always be my baby… 1/1  
Author: F5C  
Genre: Yaoi  
Pairing: Ruhanaru

Archive: FF.net eventually  
E-mail: chatterbox_shil@yahoo.com.

Artist/Band: Mariah Carey  
Title: Always be my baby

Suggestion: Download the song and listen to it while reading… trust me more fun!

Disclaimer: Standard

Dedication: To Selphie… happy very VERY belated b'day. I had this in mind for a while but been real busy… I'm glad I finally did it for ya. This is ur b'day ficcy from me… hopefully ya like it. ^^

~Presents a gift wrapped prezzie~

_We were as one   
For a moment in time   
  
_

We had this conversation at the beginning of our relationship after which it was never mentioned again… deemed a taboo topic between us but by then you had found a new goal… it wasn't the States you were out to conquer instead it now became Japan.

_And it seemed everlasting   
That you would always be mine _

Many nights spent cuddled up close to one another… spent inside one another, connected… as one… carefree… pure bliss.

_  
Now you want to be free   
So I'll let you fly _

All good things have to come to an end I guess. Life can be so damn unfair in that way but if it is inevitable why fight it.

So as I stand here, in the dark shadow of a pillar, I watch aptly as you bid farewell to those who have now become your friends. 

I'm a coward… I should be there with you… I should be holding your hand or having my arm around my waist, but I just don't seem able to do so. If I were to go to you now, I know that I'd break down. 

The tears are already collecting at my eyes and as I struggle to blink them back I watch your disappearing figure as you enter the plane.

_  
'Cause I know in my heart   
Our love will never die _

_You'll always be a part of me   
I'm part of you indefinitely   
  
_

I make my way to the entrance, the green shining neon exit sign suddenly a sign of redemption from the state of depression that has overcome me.

_Boy don't you know you can't escape me   
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby   
  
_

Last night's parting had been difficult for both of us… I remember silently watching you pack while I sat on our bed, no words exchanged… just tensed silence.

_And we'll linger on   
Time can't erase a feeling this strong   
  
_

You didn't ask me to wait… I never told you that I'd wait. 

We had undressed and made love slowly one last time and as I lay in your arms for the last time a sudden feeling of calm bubbled within me. 

It's hard to explain but although sad that you're leaving… after last night another feeling has started to reside within my broken heart. Assurance I think… but assurance of what I have no idea.

_No way you're ever gonna shake me   
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby _

I step out of the building and inhale deeply.

Only then do I say it…"Farewell Kaede"

~*~

_I ain't gonna cry   
And I won't beg you to stay   
  
_

These three months have been so damn trying on me… people have noticed the change in my character, slight it maybe but to those that I am close to it's still there.

How many nights I've spent staring at the receiver just itching to pick it and dial your number… how many nights I've spent glaring at the phone wishing it to ring and hear your voice… however it never changes the fact that we're apart and that you are now too busy for me.

_If you're determined to leave boy   
I will not stand in your way   
  
_

I know that it is your dream to be the best and I wish you luck achieving it. I have faith in you and I know that you'll do fine.

_But inevitably, you'll be back again   
'Cause you know in your heart babe   
  
_

I give in once again, and as the salty tears trickle down my cheeks and I drown myself in pain and hurt, a small part of me still is unaffected… still assured.

_Our love will never end _

_You'll always be a part of me   
I'm part of you indefinitely   
  
_

I look at your picture, gently running my forefinger over your face, an image imprinted in my mind along with your feel, scent and touch which is engraved in my heart.

_Boy don't you know you can't escape me   
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby   
  
_

I wonder if you are missing me like I do you.

I wonder if you are just to busy to even have time to miss me.

I wonder if you just don't miss me full stop.

_And we'll linger on   
Time can't erase a feeling this strong   
  
_

And as the insecurities swarm me once again, gripping at my heart and ripping it out to torture while trying to break the damn that I have spent so much time trying to build a small part of me still remains unaffected.

_No way you're ever gonna shake me   
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby _

~*~

_I know that you'll be back boy   
  
_

Two years have passed and still we haven't spoken or written to one another since the night we spent in each other's arms.

_When your days and your nights get a little bit colder   
  
_

Do you miss it?

Do you miss my warmth like I miss yours?

_I know that you'll be right back baby_

The pain is still there. 

I've moved on, accepted the fact that you're not here with me anymore and on nights that I let go of my newly built façade, allowing the tears to spill, that small part of my heart still stands strong… calm, secure and assured, but why I guess I'll never know.

_   
Oh baby believe me it's only a matter of time _

~*~

_You'll always be a part of me   
I'm part of you indefinitely   
  
_

You achieved your goal… you did it. 

A heartfelt smile tugs at my cheeks as I read the latest issue of my basketball magazine. You've been signed up with the Bulls… and I feel your joy.

_Boy don't you know you can't escape me   
Ooh darling 'cause you'll always be my baby   
  
_

The phone rings and I answer it.

"Hello Hanamichi?"

"Ka-kaede?"

_And we'll linger on   
Time can't erase a feeling this strong   
  
_

The conversation went on… we talked until the wee hours of the morning.

It seemed so perfect, as if nothing had ever changed.

"I made it"

"I know… I just read. Congratulations Kaede"

"Thanks"

A moment of silence passed.

"I'm coming down to Japan on Monday"

"…"

"…"

"Where are you staying?"

"Some hotel… I think"

"Aaa"

"Well it was good talking to you again"

"H-hai"

"Guess I actually did miss your stupidity"

"Teme Kitsune!"

We both burst out laughing at this.

"Bye"

"Ja ne… Oi Kaede I guess I'll be seeing you at the airport this time round" 

I smile as I put down the receiver and I finally get why that small part of me never changed…

_No way you're ever gonna shake me   
  
_

… cause no matter what happens, our relationship will always be the same.

It is ours to toy with, and no matter the situation… you'll always be my baby.

_Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby _

~Hehehehehehe~

All sap methinks…

Whatta bout you?

Nehoo… I'd give my usual lengthy end note… unfortunately me got to type out some other stuff, so for once I'll stop here.

Do tell me what ya think

^^


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